The Mandela Effect is LHC caused?




   

I am guessing we have all seen on our socials, headlines like "how science is about to open a portal" or "the 5th dimension will change everything." Conspiracy theorists abound have already begun crafting narratives about how experiments in quantum and/or particle physics will lead us right into higher or parallel dimensions.

For some people out there, we have already crossed timelines with our sibling dimensions because of the particle busting happening deep under the Swiss alps. And, with a growing population having these experiences named "the Mandela Effect," it seems there is a good reason to believe something enigmatic is happening right before our eyes. Are the Masters of the Universe, Penn and Teller?













Probably not, but that would be ironically funny.

Before we jump into this infinite dumpster fire, I think we should clarify what all these things are for our readers who might not be so familiar with these slightly esoteric concepts.

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So, basically what is going on is that a lot of people around the world are remembering a different shared history than the rest of us. Being as Skeptical as I am though, upon hearing about this phenomena, I barley gave it one cent of my attention.

But the details go as followed, a paranormal researcher by the name of Fionna Broom in 2010 began reporting that she believed Nelson Mandela died in the 80's, so when Mandela actually died in 2013, many people who shared this same false memory begin to spread what we know as the Mandela Effect on the internet.



As most stories do over time, they evolve, change, and add to their legend, the Mandela Effect began to produce more and more examples of large groups of people sharing the same "False Memories."

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This is easily explainable though due to the fact that humans are venerably social and superstitious creatures. Humans spread and get infected with social contagions that can make us believe things that are just fundamental nonsense, simply so that we might get to be a part of a group whom of which we perceive as cool to us.


But let's imagine for a second that the Mandela Effect is real, have a real thought experiment in the very least. If people are really remembering a past from another dimension, it seems to not really get itself started until around 2010, give or take.

Disregarding the fact, that the first account is from a person who swims in supernatural hypothesis for a living, and let just assume her experience is real as it can consequently be, then that means something had to cause dimensions to intermix, that is of course, if dimensions even exist in the first place.

Higher, Parallel, or Extra dimensions, depending on what you mean, are believed to exist because of several scientific conclusions that are made because of black holes, big bang, and quantum mechanics, particularly string theory, M-theory, eternal inflation, and the many worlds interpretation.



Without pulling out the heavy guns to go deeper into these concepts, let's just accept that other dimensional physical and maybe temporal states can and probably do exist. From here, we only now have to simply ask: Where are the labs that conduct experiments related to these fields of physics?

The most popular, well-known one is CERN. At Cern, they are smashing elementary particles together at higher and higher speeds in hopes to eventually peak behind nature's curtain. CERN was founded in 1954, but the most significant moment was when the Higgs Boson was seen in 2012. In 2009, though, is when they first begin to have particle collisions.

In Feb of 2010, the collider started up again with the highest energy achieved yet.


The very next month, March 2010, the reached 3 and half times higher energies.

By the end of the year, they observed a huge imbalance of energy and the construction of Top Quark Pairs.

Now, of course, the Mandela Effect didn't grow over night. From 2010 through the present, 2022, in 12 years, we have seen in grow into a cultural global phenomena. Through those years, however, there were many more runs at the LHC, including the one that proved the existence of the Higgs Boson in 2012.

Conspiracy theorist, will look at all these energy collusions as they cause of dimensions getting crossed.

















Jokingly, we could even say that's how we got Trump in 2016, our reality got entangled into the Simpsons dimension, but seriously if something this extraordinary was taking place, I don't think we would stop doing what we are doing, which is probing reality until we can craft a place we could all call home, a little place called Utopia.



 


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Shouldn't Veterans get Veteran's Day off from work?




Today is Veteran's day in the year 2022 and I am here at the office writing this article, but you know who else is also at work today?

Our company's veterans.

I echoed this question through the halls of cubicles: Veterans don't get off of work today? The answer, of course, was No!

Really?

How is that not a thing? The one day of the year that Veterans get for their service and they are forced to go into work? I am not for sure how that even gets to work out. Now, surely there are some companies that might offer that option to their fellow veteran employees, but for it not to be a standard practice in a country that loves to show its support for the troops, surely, melts my patriotic brain.

In all my days working in various position for various companies, I have barely even heard a whisper of this day in November, not a pizza party or anything. At the very least we could get a pizza party, don't ya think? But, No, there is no pizza party, no veteran's cake, not even a wave of the flag and a-thank- you-for-your-service card.

So what is the point of having a Veterans Day?

Should we be playing with Origami instead? Watching war movies drinking beers with our buds having a war-movie marathon party? After all, it is Friday.

The most humble thing that a person could do would be to honor their family members who are vets in some kind of way, but let's not be so humble that we can't all admit that a paid-day off of work, is a gift that would put a smile on most people's faces.

The best way to honor me is to offer me one more day of freedom, freedom from work, from danger, freedom of time, freedom from financial obligations, freedom to sit my ass down and do whatever the fuck I want within the bounds of the law, of course. Even if it is just for a day, it's a gracious gift.

 Thank you for your service, Happy Veteran' Day

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It's not a Wave, but Republicans are Still Winning, & the Rich are still Getting Richer.


The 2022 Mid-terms have crashed ashore but results are still coming in with both sets of voters clinching their teeth as a run-off in Georgia looms, the GOP hoping to increase their wave of influence and the Democrats hoping to resist a rather disappointing t'sunami. But, as of the present moment, the Republicans are holding the lead inching ever so closer to controlling congress with a 48-46 Senate and a 209-186 House.

These Mid-terms seem especially important for both teams this year due to issues such as the economy and abortion on many people's minds. Plus, with our country coming fresh off the heels of a global pandemic into a conflict with Russia, (not to mention the Capital Hill fiasco and the George Floyd tragedy that lead to riots and protests nearly all year long during the Summer of Covid), voters on all sides are more motivated and passionate than recent history has seen in decades, yet through intense showings of emotion, there appears to be no progress in this country for either opposition whereas both sides think they are playing "11D chess." 



But what does progress look like, anymore, especially, when progress for one side looks just like regress for the other side? For now, right-wing progress would be taking control of congress and stopping what they call "woke culture" from infected the halls of the United States Government and society at large. Dems hoping, of course, to do the opposite which is continue the cultural changes that were originally planted, watered and grown in universities through the 2010's. 

Without going into too much detail about the specifics of Woke culture and Anti-woke culture, the challenge moving forward for both gangs are trying to convince moderates, libertarians and the apoliticalists on why one philosophy is more dangerous than the other. However, for moderates the opposition is the extremism on both sides, for the libertarians, it's the authoritarians on both sides and for the apoliticalists, it's the corruption and hypocrisy on both sides that prevent them from giving a damn either way. 

The social and political pressure to join either one or the other mob is enough to make most people wave their hand in a jerk off motion at those who are hell bent on defeating the other side. The you-are-either-with-us-or-against-us-Bush mentality is what has lead many people into fighting conflicts that they had no business fighting in the first place. 




But, wait, this is our country! Of course, we have something to do with this conflict! How can we just sit here, aloof and indifferent about who shapes the culture of our homeland? People should care about the beliefs and values their fellow countryman holds regarding how humans should conduct themselves as a group of citizens. If we just sit here deadpanned and uninvolved, then the loudest and most extreme people will rise to power. 

This kind of rhetoric is what those entrenched in warfare will try to convince you of. And, if you have a Swiss-state of mind, you may be demonized by both sides even more than if you had picked a side, because they need you to fight for their team; they need another outraged mob member to add to their numbers, another voice yelling out across the aisle to someone who looks just like yourself but is wearing a different color shirt.  

I fight for Blue! I fight for Red! I fight for democracy! I fight for individual liberty! I fight for reproductive freedom! I fight for the protection of children! I fight for my family! I fight for free speech! I fight for safe spaces! I fight for my identity! I fight for minorities! I fight for equity! I fight for equality! I fight for Americans! I fight for humans! 

Because when you put a word that sounds noble after the verb fight, it always makes you feel like the good guy, doesn't it? Fighting for a good cause makes conflict seem excusable. But the real question is who does conflict benefit? Fighting always benefits the mediating party, the more messier of a divorce, the more money for the lawyers. Here is the acceptance speech from Ron DeSantis speaking on Woke Culture. 



Conflict creates cash. Fighting makes money seem absolutely necessary to be spent. If you have come to believe that your world is going to end unless you fight your pending opposition, you will enthusiastically spend your money on fighting. If I can convince a group of people that poisonous rain is coming and it will melt their skin, I would make a killing off of umbrellas. 

So cheer if you want, that republicans are winning, but the rich will keep getting richer while the poor continuously get left behind by inflation and that's the real issue that neither side seems to be addressing. 

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Iphone 12 vs. Iphone 13

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Well, Apple has really outdone themselves this time with their revolutionary new iphone: the iphone 13 pro max. The drastic differences in the new iphone is truly an outstanding achievement for the company. Steve Jobs would definitely be proud.




When comparing the new model to the old model, you automatically know that you absolutely must now trash your older phone and spend an unnecessary amount of money and wait for a ridiculously long time in extremely exhausting lines just to get this latest model of the iphone lineage. 

So what are you paying up to $1600 for with the newest upgrade? Well, we are excited to tell you. So let's go over all the highly anticipated changes that make it well worth all the time you spent working at BurgerQueen all summer to buy. 


1. It's all about the Lenses 




The iphone 13 pro plus max space gray elite edition, celebrity approved, mini pocket computer device has all new lenses. Yes, you still get 3 lenses, 12 megapixels a piece, but this time, you can now get Sierra Blue lenses which means instead looking down the barrel of a space gray colored lens, now you can see blue, just like looking in someone's eyes. Apple is all about giving you different color options to truly bring back that human experience. 


2. Display that Body, baby! 




via GIPHY


Yes, the design, style and body are nearly identical but the 13+ is a tad bit heavier so it feels like you really got something special in your hands.

The extra weight gives you a sense of holding something with authority between your fingers which studies have shown to really improve the mental health of the snowflake generation. It's a device that really makes people feel empowered and that is important to apple. 


3. The Most Important Upgrade of ALL




2.5 HOURS MORE ON THE TOILET 

Apple knows that because every bathroom stall and even the ones in our home might not necessarily have a reachable wall charger which severely limits the amount of time that we can spend on the shitter with our phone. 

The biggest problem with iphones weren't that they were not big enough or that they needed 5 more cameras, but that often they would die before our legs would get numb and go to sleep. This is absolutely unacceptable coming from a company like Apple. 

But now iphones can last up 2.5 hours longer, which means we can almost watch one Lord of the Rings movie while taking a massive shit. This upgrade is the upgrade to rule them all. 

Of course, this will only be true for the first few months as the battery will surely return back to its original life. But, hey, any small victory, is still victory. 



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Top 16 Things That Make Us Karens

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Twitter was trending today with the hashtag of #makesmealittlebitkaren.

The Karen personality type is one that seemingly will go from 0 - 100 over the most unimportant things, and when we mean 100, we mean call SWAT TEAM 666 to come an unleash hell on the world because they are just in that bad of a mood today.

Oh, there are people having fun in a park? I gotta summon the entire US military to reign hellfire down on these people. How dare they have fun in my presence?! 

Here is the top 16 Tweets of People saying what makes them a little Karen-ish.


1. Drunk Drivers

People who drink and drive need to learn how to use an Uber. 





2. Bird Walkers 

When I agreed to listen to your story, I did not know you were gonna inject 4000 side stories into your main story. 




3. False Advertising

All food photography is fake, but c'mon. 



4. People Who Have an Entourage

Why do some people need 3-8 people to escort them wherever they go? 




5. Poo-poo-luters 

I want to throw poo everytime I step in it.




6. I'll Do It Later (it's been 3 weeks)

Do the Damn Dishes, Please!




7. Morning People 
Do not fuck with me until I have had some coffee. 




8. "Should of" People

It's "Should've" not... NVM!



9. Cancelers 

It is time to Cancel Cancel Culture
 




10. Karen Normalizers (like us) 
This twitterer was just not having this whole hashtag at all. 



11. Litter Bugs
Pick up your damn Trash, Man!  





12. Indoor Shoe Wearers 
Did you just put your shoes on my bed?  




13. Janitor Disrespectors
And these are the people who also litter




14. Check Writers 
Give it up. Checks are relics of the past




15. Kitchen Cats
And their hair is all over the kitchen 




16. Fauci Fans
Need we say more?




And we added our own

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Can We Be More Like Walter Cronkite?

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Walter Cronkite did not sensationalize;
he did not editorialize;
nope, he didn't even try to excite you.

He just told you whatever it was that was happening.

He didn't care how you felt about it or what side of the story you were on. He didn't even care if you knew how he really felt about the news he was giving you.

He just told you what he knew to be true no matter how dry he sounded.

via GIPHY



This was a completely different model of news delivery than what we get today, which is more theatrics than anything.

Today's media is trying to convince you, 
is trying to attack their opponents, 
and most importantly trying to keep you entertained 

so you don't turn the channel, don't click off the page or turn off the video. 



However, the more insidious part of it all, the news and media today are trying to trigger you.

They know the more they can pull you by your heart strings, the more you will keep watching and the more advertising dollars these sons of bitches get to keep. 

Sure, we all want to make money off our news content; and sure, most of us, these days, add our own tone and opinion when telling people the news, but the problem isn't necessarily news for profit, entertainment or emotional appeal. 

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No, the problem with news and media is our refusal to admit as news givers and news receivers that we are insanely cognitively biased.

We seem to only care about the news that supports what we already want to be true and we will tear anyone down who even slightly disagrees. 

Not only do we tear people down, we will cancel them, ignore family and friends, block facebook friends and completely pretend like someone doesn't exist just because they believe in something opposite to what we believe. 

We have become pestilent children, the generation that never grew up but who had to eventually become adults.

via GIPHY

We have become the Joffrey Generation, a generation that was thrusted into power and responsibility before we even knew how to manage our own psychological issues, issues that were caused by broken promises, unrealistic expectations and shattered dreams. 

This generation thought we were going to be some technocratic hippies going to live fanciful lives, fall in love like the movies and be loved by everyone.

However, the reality is that there are losers to every game, loneliness is more commonplace than not, and everyone just seems to hate everyone else.

So, of course, no one is delivering news without sensationalism, a call to action (or to be triggered), without theatrics and dramatics, and without getting political. 

But, trying to build a system where everybody is a winner and where there are no losers, is like trying to burn weed without producing any ashes. The smoke won and the ashes lost; that's just how it is.



Trying to eat the ashes is not making this world better, just like reporting the news in a sensationalist way isn't make this world any better.

When you eat ash, it's not helping anyone. Sure, you will get your attention that converts into cash, but all that you have done is become the very thing you hate. 

An ash producing, asshole.     


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New School Clothes Woes

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So, let's talk about new school clothes and giving your parents a financial aneurysm every school year, and sometimes every semester or in worst case scenario, every 6 weeks. 

I don't know what it is about high school kids and needing something new to wear to school seemingly every other week.

It was true for me and my high school chums when we were in high school back in the 90's and it looks like it is still true for kids in the 2020's, as it was probably true for every decade of high school children. 

High School kids act like they don't go to school to learn, but to put on a goddamn fashion show for all their friends.

They act like all hell will break loose if they even dare to wear the same outfit more than once in a semester. And, the biggest sin of all is to wear something you had in the 9th grade in the 10th grade or any other grade for that matter. 

Now, obviously if your parents are locked and loaded with money coming out of their asses with every fart of caviar and lobster rolls, then it would be fairly breezy for them to provide their children with endless amounts of new outfits for their children to razzle and dazzle their peers with.  

However, if you come from a financially struggling family, one suffering a divorce, loss of job, no good paying job or medical debt, then keeping up with the high school Joneses is quite a stressful burden to be put onto working parents. 

As the meme clearly demonstrates, even buying a week's worth of outfits will not cut it. Why? Because high school kids can't be caught dead wearing the same thing more than twice in a month. 

Holy shit, mom and dad, I wore this outfit just last month. I can't possibly wear this to school again. Everyone is going to know that we can't afford new clothes.

This teenage insanity has got to stop. 

I remember this being the only issue that dominated my life in high school which was worrying about not wearing the same thing too many times in a semester, yet now here I am as a grown ass adult and I swear I will dead-ass wear the same outfit to work for like 3 days in a row, not washing, not showering, just deodorant, some cologne and a fuck you to anyone who has a problem. I come to work to work, not to put on a fashion show. 

And, just maybe we need to quit stressing out our parents over needing hundreds and thousands of dollars in new school clothes every damn semester and school year and heed the advice that my father used to tell me. 

We go to school to learn, not put on a fashion show, if you want to be a model, drop out of school and walk the runway.

Want to rebel against this bad for the environment endless new school clothes disease that we have. Buy this shirt below. It will be the only shirt you need to wear. 



 

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